Summary: This article explores effective strategies for managing household chaos and embracing messy motherhood, providing practical tips for busy moms. For the other articles in this series, see “Embracing Messy” and “Messy Table.”
In another post, I shared how I began to reframe my thought process regarding messes, particularly in motherhood. So what about the reality of it all? How do we ACTUALLY prepare for the messes we decide to allow? Let’s start before the messiness ensues, shall we? Key takeaway: Reframing our mindset about messes is crucial for maintaining sanity in motherhood and creating a positive family environment.
Let Messy Happen
As counterproductive as it seems, the first step we have to take is to let the mess happen, and do it on purpose. The reality is, messes are going to happen whether we want them to or not. So, if we stay in a perpetual state of avoidance, we will find ourselves in a never ending cycle of overwhelm and fatigue. What’s more concerning is we’ll likely start to resent those making the messes. (Already there? Keep reading! I’m in this with you, friend!!)
Take Mental Notes
So we’ve let the mess happen, but how do we “do this on purpose?” That’s the easy part, because you likely know your answers already to the questions we’ve yet to ask: What do you avoid and why do you avoid it? Maybe you want to start the art project, but keeping the toddler from destroying the finished product while it dries is literally impossible. Or maybe you want to play outside, but the natural “hose them down after” solution is impossible because you literally don’t have access to a hose. (This is me!) Write your answers down, regardless of how silly they are. You wouldn’t go into battle without knowing your enemy!
Key point: Identifying pain points in your daily routine is essential for developing effective household chaos management strategies.
Ask the Magic Question
The Lazy Genius is one of my all-time favorite podcasts. In her book, The Lazy Genius Way, Kendra Adachi lays out seven principles to approach basically anything. One of those principals is especially helpful in this scenario: “Ask yourself what you can do now to make something easier later.” What can you do right now, even while the mess is ensuing, to help your future self out?
If you’re inside, could you go ahead and start dinner even though it’s 2pm? That way, when it’s time to put a stop to the mess, you can jump in and participate in tidying without dinner burning on the stove top.
If you’re outside, can you start gathering everyone’s shoes, which somehow ended up from one end of the yard to another? That way, when it’s time to go in and you are dealing with the disappointment, you aren’t also trying to get them to gather their things. (Which is an insult to injury for a kid, let’s be real!)
Here are some things you can do…
Set a clean set of clothes and a towel near the door so you can catch your sprinkler-soaked kids before they track grass throughout the whole house.
Put something (anything) on autopilot so that you can jump in on the fun without feeling unproductive?
Start the laundry.
Set your oven on auto start for the meatloaf you prepped during naptime.
There’s always something you can do, even if it’s small, to give yourself a jumpstart for heading off chaos at inopportune times.
Summary: The Lazy Genius method offers practical mom life organization tips to streamline daily tasks and reduce stress in messy situations.
Take Action
Ok, so we’ve let the mess happen, we’ve taken mental notes of what we try to avoid and why, and we’ve asked the “Magic Question.” Now, we put what we’ve learned into perpetual use.
This is where you get to personalize the process to your own home, needs, kids, and personality. This is where you decide right now that the stressor is going down for good, and you make a permanent change to how you do “that” mess.
Let me give you a quick example.
My kids LOVE to play in the dirt, and in our space, our “dirt” is 70% sand. They always come home covered in dirt, no matter how much I try. Add to that the fact that we have no access to a waterhose (we live in student housing) and the fact that we have 4 kids, there’s a lot of dirt! So here are some action steps I take to lessen the stress surrounding the clean up:
Clothes:
I decided a long time ago that we only have play clothes or church clothes. There is no in-between in our house! So anything they have on can get messed up and I will not be mad.
Food:
If it’s early in the day, I take lunch with us to the playground, regardless of what time we go. (Thank you, Bentgo Boxes!) If it’s after rest time, I will have already made dinner or have plans to easily and quickly reheat dinner.
Shoes:
Only crocs are allowed. No buckle sandals that will require a magic eraser later. No tennis shoes that I’ll have to wash and tumble dry. Just quick slip on shoes that can be quickly rinsed or left outside to dust off later.
Re-entry:
I have established a re-entry routine that everyone knows. (1) Go straight to the bathroom and strip down! (2) If they are insanely dirty, they’ll go straight in the bath. (3) If it’s limited to feet and hands and I know we’ll get messy again, they will sit on the edge of the tub as I rinse them down.
Gather:
We do not own bathroom mats, so I’ll just lay a towel down to dry them off and then gather all dirty clothes on that towel.
Back away slowly:
I let the water drain, and I DON’T immediately wipe out the tub. There’s a handy trick for cleaning it out.
Final Clean Up:
Once all the dirt has dried, I will sweep it up and vacuum it out of the tub with my handy Shark handheld vacuum. While I’m at it, I’ll reach for any sand that collected on the floor from their dirty clothes, etc.
Is it a lot of work? Sure! But anything is going to be some level of work. I have put a plan in place, and I’m prepared for it. It matters to me that my kids get to enjoy this kind of play AND I enjoy a tidy home, which seems to come a lot easier with a little “magic” thinking!
Key takeaway: Implementing personalized kid-friendly cleaning hacks and routines can significantly reduce stress and maintain a balance between fun activities and a tidy home. For a specific example of how I do this in our homeschool, be sure to check out this article.
Some of My Favorite Products and Hacks:
While this is certainly not a one-size-fits-all situation, I do think there is something here for everyone! Here are a few of my favorite hacks and products that help me to manage the messes without being a total kill-joy!
Outside Play
- rain boots and rain jackets
- Crocs or easily wipeable slip on shoes
- a good wipeable picnic blanket or bedsheet (takes up less space in the washer!)
- toys dedicated for dirt (ie. dump trucks–love this brand!!, beach shovels, etc.)
.
Inside Play
- bins to contain and limit the amount of toys
- a clean up timer
- hand-held vacuum and spray mop for quick in-between cleans
- cafeteria trays for under playdough, painting projects, legos, kinetic sand, etc. (This makes clean-up especially helpful for things that require a drying time. Stack them to save space without ruining the art! )
- no spill paint cups
- art smocks or oversized t shirts dedicated to collecting splatters (I have known friends to use these instead of bibs for messy toddlers too!)
- a curtain rod like this one and rings to display finished products
Transitioning from Outside to Inside
I recommend a space dedicated to receiving outdoor play. This doesn’t have to be a whole room. It could simply be a coat hook with a laundry basket underneath or the closest bathroom to the door. Be sure to have the essentials on hand:
- beach towel
- a bin for dirty shoes/toys in need of cleaning
- paper towels
- a bucket or dedicated space to collect outdoor “treasures” (read: snail shells and lovely leaves… surely I’m not the only one here!) For us, this is the balcony of our second story apartment!
Remember to be Kind to Yourself
You’re going to forget. You’re going to have unexpected messes. You’re going to try something and it’s not going to work for you. Remember to be kind to yourself. This is a growing process! I don’t think any of us could do 200 push ups without ever doing more than 10 modified push ups at a time! You will get stronger and this will get more manageable. You just have to keep going, giving yourself and your kids as much grace as possible!
